London Hotels Articles

April 29, 2010

Eating disorders explained

Filed under: London Restaurants — Tags: , , , , , — ordon @ 4:27 pm

Hi, I’m a compulsive overeater, recovered one day at a time by the grace of my HP, the help of my Sponsor, and the fellowship of Overeaters Anonymous.

First I have to say that I can’t ever remember being “normal” with food. I always remember being the biggest, even at junior school. One of my very early memories (I was around 6 years old) is of walking home from school and being bullied by an older boy – the first – but not last – time I remember being bullied – and after I made it home, I know that I ate to “get over” it. In a way, that seemed to be a pattern in my life – food was my friend and comforter.

This “friend” was with me always. As a lonely child, isolated and never feeling part of the crowd, I turned to food as an escape. I would bunk off school, and hide in my bedroom with some “treats.” Going to work, I discovered booze as well, and though don’t call myself an alcoholic, I used booze like I used food, to hide behind. I never felt I fit in at work either – I always felt like an outsider who didn’t understand what “they” all understood. But despite that, I was competent at what I did. I got married and had 2 children, I did all the stuff that people do, I bought all the things that people buy. Eventually I was a middle manager with an expense account in a busy job that took me to work in Edinburgh (I live in London). I also had an ever-increasing weight problem.

I have tried many diets, – all work, for a time – my first diet was when I was 15 and my parents took me to a doctor. At that time I stopped eating sugar for the first time. Looking back with hindsight, I guess that was one occasion where I forced myself to eat properly. Although it felt good, I missed my “friend” and soon found ways of sneaking back there. And this is the story of me and diets – the thing is I don’t just have a physical problem with food – I also have an obsession that makes me want to keep going back to eating, time after time.

In my 20’s, my activity and stress levels were such that I maintained my weight. At that time I was “large”. In my 30’s, I yo-yoed a lot.

I had a stressful job which I hated, and I would lose weight without trying, but then it would come on again as soon as the stress abated. As I moved into my 40’s, I was at the top end of “Extra Large,” and I no longer lost weight with stress, or maybe I didn’t feel it anymore? I did feel some stuff though, like self-loathing, lack of worth, envy, hatred of others and myself. By my late 40’s I had

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